Friday, September 14, 2007

My Happiness

I might have written about this before but I feel the need to write again. Maybe because I am a cheerful person, it seems unnatural for me to be quiet and/or sad. In fact, if I go into Silent Mode for 15minutes (Pisa said 5 seconds).. people around me get uncomfortable and worried almost immediately.

Khalid called. We spoke for a long time but the conversation felt like minutes. He has new plans laid out for the next 5-6years for him. Unfortunately, after a chain of events which took place on my side over the period of unrecorded time.. I wont be in his plans. Shortly before I left Malaysia, he finally made contact. I had to tell him we cant be together anymore. Given better circumstances, we could have. Perhaps. I dont know. Like I said earlier, I realised there is no happy ending between us and I moved on.

Still, he wishes me to be happy. Be it with Jujhar or anyone else, even if its not with him. I am touched until a certain point of guilt to be honest. People always tell me "as long as you are happy". Boy, aint I pampered! I am glad Khalid sounded okay. I am REALLY glad. There were a few things he mentioned which gave me flashbacks of the days we spent in Bristol. We had fun.

Do you think I can get away with murder? Seriously. I wouldnt be surprised if I am set free with the jurisdiction- "as long as you are happy" :) Jujhar tells me that too. He wants me to be happy and as long as I am happy, he will do anything for me. Anything reasonable. Even by means of meeting a new partner. Sighhhh. Are these guys for real?

Khalid said we are not friends. We were never friends to begin with. But he said he made a promise and he will keep it. He promised to always be there for me, behind me all the way to back me up.. he also said (maybe joked) that he will be there for my wedding and he will dance. Hahahaa silly. So yeahhh.. things are cool now. I must say he has changed. He isnt the lazy, I-am-tired-all-the-time guy I used to see. He sounds energetic, active and ambitious.

You win some, you lose some eh?