Friday, December 16, 2005

Wake Up Call

I AM angry. I bombarded his inbox for 2hours. My thumb hurts from the typing but it was worth it. I also messaged his psychotic bitch of a gf that she can be happy now, she wont be hidden in the darkness because she can have her "sun" back. They are perfect for each other >(

Fucking psychos. Fucking losers. Fucking liars. Fucking fakes.

Helping me to move on it seems. He is helping HIMSELF to move on by letting guilt eat him up. I can be understanding but tolerance has a threshold. I believed that it was only obligation which made him stay with her but its me he really loves. Then fuck his love for me. He said 3 lines which gave me a tight slap so hard that it woke me up

  1. "She needs me more"
  2. "I cant leave her"
  3. "In fact, in the end I think Ill choose her and you know it too"

Oohh my heart broke/bled/tore is an understatement. I told him to read every message properly. I dont fucking want to hear him say that he loves/still loves me nor inform me that he doesnt. I dont want to hear "love and my name" anywhere close. I told him to save his tears so when his psychotic bitch of a gf becomes stupid again, he can cry for her.

Truth is, HE needs her. Although she never treasured him, treated him like fuck but he loved her. Then I came into the picture, she suddenly decided to make him stay. Fucking psychos. They deserve each other. I told him I hope that he cries till his heart aches, till he cant breathe, till he gets numb so that he wont remember what we had together.

I dont fucking love him anymore. I dont fucking want him anymore. I dont fucking want to remember that I did. I dont hate, I rather forget. I tried to cry but I couldnt and you know when I cant cry, it means there is no love left. I definitely have no love for "a guy like that".

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